And there, in a blink of an eye, she was gone. Forever. The 57th expedition was a disaster, well not totally but to a certain person. Rivaille's squad that was considered elite of the elite was almost wiped out, only Rivaille, himself, survived.
The moment you and the Recon Corps entered the gates, families of the soldiers were waiting for their love ones return. Many weeped as soon as they discovered that the one's they are waiting for can no longer return to them while some was in huge relief after seeing their love ones return. Some soldiers were wounded, some were missing a limb or two but still, they were lucky to return alive.
As you made your way through the street, a certain middle aged man caught your attention as he approach the corporal. You knew him, it was your bestfriend's father, Petra. Rivaille paid no attention to him as the man keep talking as he holds a letter. He was talking about his daughter's dedication to him, or perhaps marriage.
Even though he doesn't show it, you knew deep down he was in sorrow. He was regretting everything. He never took a step on their relationship. It was platonic.
Later that night, you found him alone in the mess hall. A dimly lit candle was the only source of light.
You walked slowly on his table, the sound of your steps breaking the deafening silence of the night.
"Corporal, good evening sir."
You mumbled as you sat across the table from him.
In his entwined hands where his head rests, he sneaked up a glance at you but no words escaped his lips. His eyes were the one speaking for him. This was the first time you saw him like this, broken and devastated. Who knew that it only takes a woman can make the strongest soldier to be like this.
Only an apology was the thing you can mumble.
You wanted to cry, not because of the loss of your bestfriend but because the person you love can never love you back. Even so, you were desperate for him.
"Corporal. It was unusually to find you here in the middle of the night."
"Then what about you cadet?"
His voice came out in a raspy tone.
"It's just that...."
"Out with it cadet."
This moment, you decided to let it all out. You stared in his eyes, demanding for an answers.
"I know you are in love with my bestfriend."
"What if I am?"
He curtly replied, eyes flickering with fire as if challenging you to speak further.
"She loves you too...."
You words made his whole body tensed up and his eyes changes into something you would not expect. His eyes was filled of regret.
"And I love you too."
You intently watched his face, waiting for a reaction. You expected him to be angry for betraying your bestfriend's trust. Instead you saw his usual stoic face.
"Is that all you want to say cadet?"
You nod at him anxiously.
"Follow me at my office."
The walk to his office was once again filled with silence. As soon as you two are in his office alone, he pinned you on the wall in one fluid motion and started to kiss you hungrily.
At first you were taken back.
'Maybe he loves me too?'
No. You always knew that he can never love you. His heart will always belong to her and he was just using you to release all his frustrations by this. Even if it made your heart break more into a millions of pieces, you started to kiss him back. You brushed away the thought that he doesn’t love you.
'I’ll forget it all, just for one night. '
(A/N: For love of God! Here goes nothing…)
His hands soon found its way under your shirt, in your stomach and up into your ample breasts. He cupped it gently as he began kissing you down to your neck, earning a moan from you. From this point on, he couldn’t control himself any longer. He discarded away any article of clothing on you and throw them in unknown corners of his office and soon his clothings followed. Being fully naked in front of him made you conscious of yourself. You looked down on your feet as you used your arms to cover your chest.
Something’s wrong. Why isn’t he moving?
You looked up and saw him staring blanking at you. And his eyes… It showed
A simple thought crossed your mind that only made the ache in your heart greater.
'Right now, do you wish I was someone else?'