literature

Warm (Assuming!Reader x Erwin)

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Literature Text

The titans had infiltrated the Wall Rose near the district where your family lived. After hearing the news, you abruptly get your gears and went for battle while your squad was trying to stop you but they followed you in the end. All was going smoothly until an aberrant titan caught your wire sending you to hit hard on the wall, losing consciousness.

Reader-chan's POV

I woke up in the infirmary. As I try to recall what happened before I passed out, there was a knock on the door.

"I'm going in." Said the nurse.

I greeted her with a smile on my face and said, "Good afternoon. Thank you for taking care of me.

But somehow her reaction towards me made me perplexed. She frowned a little as she looked at me with pitiful eyes.

"Uh... Is something wrong with me?" I asked, fear evident in my voice.

"Miss I'll be frank with you... Your family... Well.. They're gone." The nurse said firmly as she held my hand.

My eyes widen in shock of the news she announced and my mouth hang open, words stuck on my throat.

Before leaving, the nurse gave me a calming tap on the shoulder and smiled apologetically. "I'm really sorry about that, but other that you are perfectly healthy."

Later that day, I left the infirmary and returned to my dorm. Feeling very lost, there's only one person I longed to see. I know this person could at least make me feel better. Just his presence made me feel safe. When I was just about to enter his office, the two high ranking officers blocked me.

"Sorry cadet, we can't let you pass."

"Why? I need to see him please!"
I begged.

"Well..... Commander Erwin has a visitor today and he ordered us not to let anyone pass."

"Visitor? Who?"

"His fiancé"

I immediately felt devastated. My last hope of keeping my sanity intact instantly vanished into thin air. Then beyond the other side of the door, I heard a woman's voice and a man's voice. I can recognize the man's voice. It was my lover, or ex-lover now and the woman's must be his fiancé. How come he never mentioned that he had a fiancé? He just made a fool of me but he never really said his feelings for me. Or maybe it was just me? I just assumed that we had a mutual feeling towards each other. But what about the night we spend the other day?

"Ohh... I see.... Then I'll leave, sorry for bothering you...." I replied back at them as I force a smile on my lips before I left.

Ever since that day, the people around me acted differently. Some became mean to me and started to pull pranks on me, some started to avoid me and the hardest part is that the people close to me, the people I trust the most, became cold towards me and started to doubt me. They wouldn't even look straight into my eyes. All this made me devastated. First is when I found out that I was adopted then second is when the people I truly care about are rejecting me. And I know why, I failed my part as a squad leader. I send all my subordinates in their meaningless death.

Days passed, I just masked myself with the usual me, like nothing happened. Little by little, I learned to be numb. I still walk with my head up, ignoring the belittling gazed thrown at me and ignoring the rumors made by them. But being me, I can't last up like this. I can't keep my feelings bottled up forever. I want refuge. I want to cry on someone else's shoulder and tell all my resentments but to who? I got no one now. It's like there is already a great distance between us. Separated by a large transparent wall. Little by little, I started to lose interest to live. I barely eat and go outside my dorm unless I was ordered to.

After a week with that, I developed a high fever. I didn't tell anybody about it and still to go work my superior assigned me to do. Then one night, my thoughts came across the little house that I played at when I was still a child at my foster family. I decided to go there even though I can barely stand up. It took me a while to reach it but it was worth it. It made me remember the days when I'm still living here. I envy my past self as I reminisce. Even though they treat me badly here, I'm still smiling because in my mind I believe that they are my real family and they would love me if I did a good job. I entered my room with the familiar creek of the door. The tips of my fingers brushed the dust that build up on my old desk. I saw the mirror that I used to hate then smiled weakly at my own reflection. How I really changed this past few years. I took the scissors in the cabinet and started to cut my long silky blue-black hair to a short bob. I don't know what came to me but I just feel like it.

I woke up on the cold floor of my old room. I realized I passed out after cutting my hair. I tried to go up but my vision was blurred and my head ached badly making me to fall down on the cold floor again. I crawled at the wall and slump myself on wall and cried my heart out.

"Where will I go now? All is gone, there's no place for me here. The people I trust, treasure, love are gone. No one's even acknowledging my existence. I doubt someone will notice I'm gone. Why am I still alive? "

I reached out to the scissors lying on the cold floor beside me. At first, I just stared blankly at it but I realized that this can help me get out of the grief that I'm feeling. I pointed the scissors at my chest then I stabbed myself. A warm feeling engulfed me given by the blood as it came out on the puncture wound. This is the feeling I longed for, I never felt so alive. A smile slowly creeped on my face as tear fall through my eyes.

‘That's it.’ I thought. I finally found a way to relieve myself.’

"The pain... It keeps me feel alive."

A grunt escaped on my lips as I withdrew the scissors from my chest making the blood flow out more making a pool of blood on the cold floor.

"So... Warm...."

And that's the last phrase I ever said.
While I was playing with my iPad, I came across an unfinished dabble. Suddenly I had an urge to finish it but I can't think of anything but SnK, so I inserted SnK in the story.

I think I made the unfinished dabble before I went to college ._.
(I'm 2nd year now) :D

WARNING: DEATH and grammatical errors
This is my first.... Uh... Angst? Story
Or this is a death fic? Dunno xD sorry I'm just new to this writing stuff and naming stuff

Shingeki no Kyojin belongs to the rightful owner
Isayama Hajime-sama

And Reader-chan belongs to… uh??

ta ta~
Ⓒ Characters here (except for the reader) belongs to Isayama Hajime

EDIT:
I'm currently rewriting this~ hope I can finish this soon
© 2013 - 2024 Xylvie
Comments14
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FangirlJ's avatar
An extended ending would be wonderful, it could answer questions such as did anyone really notice, did Erwin notice, did they write her off as having abandoned her post and did they ever find her body?